crypto bear market

Death to 2022: A rekt man’s diary

crypto bear market

We lit the fireworks and changed our calendars as we swerved into a year we thought will brew a better story. Well, on a general note for the crypto space, that didn’t really happen.

You could go on about how you made Bezos-level money from shorting the hell out of cryptocurrencies. Sincerely, I’d have bet a few dollars on bitcoin smashing the $100,000 mark in 2022. Such a bad gambler, I know. But the charts didn’t hint at anything this bad.

Fair enough, the charts could have never predicted multiple bankruptcies and a full-blown war.

Hell, of a year, literally, 2020 remains one of the worst years in the 21st century, but for the business sector, 2022 follows immediately.

The tales aren’t really so juicy and our sarcasm might taste like a poorly prepared coffee, but we’ll have to do it anyways. So, let’s go through 2022 again in just 670 words.

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Michael Saylor stepping down from his throne at Microstrategy should have been enough sign for us. The bitcoin man probably got tired of saving the space with his firm’s annual profits. It’s just unfortunate, if he dipped in a few billion more, I’d have paid off the fee for a ‘single-issue’ Toyota Corolla. Sorry, that’s an excerpt from a friend’s diary.

Well, steady lads! A friend lost his tuition fee to that LUNAr eclipse, but it’s a good thing that we got a new fun phrase for euphemism. A couple of “Steady Lads” situations got us this far, if 2023 brings forth more, we might have to do better at word-building.

If anything good came from 2022, it is the fact that cryptocurrency projects have learned how easy it is to get away with impoverishing investors. The chronology is similar; reach enviable heights, then crash so badly that your biggest fans look like absolute degenerates. It’s unfair to bring in the word “generates” here, considering the fact that the same word is an important figure in some of the biggest mainstream pumps of 2021. Looking back at how everything turned out, I have no apologies.

A good measure of how bad we had it is that everyone already forgot about how Andre Cronje’s exit from Fantom foundation nearly rugged one of the best Layer-1 blockchains out there. Yeah, I think it’s time to give that project its flowers, even though it isn’t making those multiple profits anymore, for now.

You can’t close a rekt man’s diary without turning to the page where he discovered that the leftovers he ‘saved’ on his favorite exchange have been donated to a charity program and he didn’t even get a pat on the back for being so generous. Cryptocurrency hated the banks so much but still managed to lose out to a nominal Bankman. That hate should grow.

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Since Alameda will spend more time in court, how likely is it that we still get that Solana blockchain phone in 2023? There’s a pre-order facility already, I hope a partial refund facility doesn’t follow. On a deeper thought, a $250 Million bailout should be enough to keep the project running. Unfortunately, someone already used that for himself. A silver lining, Solana Blockchain doesn’t stop twice in three days anymore.

I’ll leave you to guess what 2023 will come up with, I’d suggest you don’t expect a pump. Most of the architects of the 2021 pumps are either standing on court podiums, hiding in an exotic location in a third-world country, or buying up the rekt projects that still stand a revival chance. Either way, they are too engaged to pump your bags. The penny coins you are throwing your pocket money on are likely to remain pennies or something lesser…like half-pennies.

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Being optimistic for 2022 didn’t stop two neighboring countries from clashing in a gruesome manner, nor did it stop Changpeng from putting out the tweet that almost put out the whole space; but it did help Mr. Trump to raise a couple of million dollars from selling some classic pictures. Hands-off to United States’ 45th chairman though, one of the biggest winners of 2022.

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Who else took a big win in 2022? I don’t know your guess and it’s needless waiting for one. Hackers, a straight answer. Hackers had lots of fun over here and banks aren’t this porous. To be fair, they have a solid recovery system. If every alternative fails, getting a bailout from people who print some crispy notes is one way to go about it. In 2023, I suggest we stop throwing jabs at banks, they are badly beating the space currently if we are being fair.

I’d simply end by asking you to share your biggest losses of 2022. It might sound a bit too cruel until someone shares a story worse than yours and you go back to feeling better about your losses. Thank me then and thank you for taking the time to read.

Let’s hope 2023 is a better story; happy new year!

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